everything feels bad all at once

by The Human Fly

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this record means whatever you want it to mean.
the result of nine months' work and experience,
recorded on a laptop from october 2011-may 2012
listen straight through.
post it for free wherever you want.


released May 31, 2012



all rights reserved


The Human Fly New York, New York

est. 2012

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Track Name: plague
I don’t feel quite like myself
shed skin drying on a rusty shelf
shadows thicken by the lonely tracks
I can’t go back, I can never go back

everything was perfect
waiting for the servant now
soul sucking tongues shake
tragedy that strikes makes
a human fly

blade of grass with the color dripped out
my lips give way and my temper shouts
claws make nice redirect my mind
i won’t be round here for some time
Track Name: tiger
a feeling that you took away
something lying in its place
tiger with its stripes stripped and frayed
it’s starting over
every sea is parting over
makes the way to four-leaf clover
fields of grey
it’s my lucky day

lately i think I’m going crazy
Track Name: moth
Nothing’s gonna be kept sacred
If you give it up, then you should fake it
Then somebody wins

And you shimmer, you got thinner, or it might just be the cloth
Well, I’d love to be a butterfly, but I was just a moth

I eat away at all your clothing
I hang out on your wall self-loathing
I won’t bother you

There’s a serious request at hand, you’re trying not to laugh
And it seems like good things go away, but bad times never pass

Everything grows then goes out the window
Lay me to rest right under your pillow
You don’t have to hold a service, everything is perfect as is
What’s left to say?
Track Name: the fine line
there’s a fine, fine line
between being mental and all right
I’ll take what’s yours, you take what’s mine
take what’s mine

there’s a fine, fine line
between staying clean and being grime
some dirty thoughts are on my mind
on my mind

nobody worry I’m not insane
swear to god, I was just born this way.

Mommy never told me why
I was feeling lonely, I was feeling all the time
Track Name: severed hed
everything is skin and bones
don't make me change my voice into a different tone
everything is AOK
i hate you but i'll like you if you feel that way

clouds rolling in
sunny days are never ways to begin
guillotine on my mind
i get my head cut off every time

everything is skin and bones
don't make me change my voice into a different tone
everything is going fine
but i like to make decisions then I change my mind
Track Name: lungs
everything goes
gets flushed down the drain
but all things that grow
come back in the rain

in an instant, ton of bricks hit in the face
and I rebuilt all the houses I misplaced
they’re wonderful

tied silver strings
and campgrounds at dawn
these are the things
I’ll take when you’re gone

soon you will leave
and I’ll understand
nice to have seen
a crazier man
Track Name: you reminded me of martha
Like the kettle rings
Like the devil thinks
I can see it in your eyes

Intent of injury
No authority
Approves in the skies

Angry baptisms of blood
Your name was lost in the flood
She can’t recall a thing
She’s naked and she’s scared
You put the knife away
It’s not your cross to bear

Hey, raise and treat me right
I think I’ll check out for the night
Track Name: bridge
so enticing, leaky faucet
couple phone calls, one or two voicemails.
understand me, now I’m begging
don’t you get it, fuck, I’m unhappy.

Jesus was the only cure
the remedy for years unsure
of what I am
staring into blackest void
concrete visions all destroyed
body imprint

amber the last color before the night caves in
disintegration of a patience wearing thin
await a kid to reawaken all you knew
the boundary’ s here.
I can’t push through.
Track Name: connecticut one
ugly stain on a beautiful plain,
I was left to fight
all the ghosts that I miss the most
will haunt the streets at night

dust takes in faces, all suffering
adorned with gold and shimmering
it must die.

money burns, ashes kept in an urn
the thread that ties will thin
you ignored, hung around and looked bored
in temples I stood in

and I’ll drive back home when you have learned
but when I get nothing in return
it must die.
Track Name: toxic levels of unspecified heavy metals
Heaven sent, I’m afraid
Tying up a mess in a braid,
Better shaving it off
Heaven sent, I’m confused
Even when I’m winning I lose
I was losing it all

Habits are forming, they don’t make a sound
Running like a chicken with its head on the ground
My shadow creeps on my skin, it sinks in, it surrounds
Me and takes my brain thrown away

Heaven sent, I’m afraid
Tying up a mess in a braid,
Better shaving it off
Track Name: primitive ways
how many times can you cave me in
before I make a go at your medicine?
what does it take ‘till I feel enslaved?
swallow with water, makes me behave

my primitive ways

how many times will you check on me
before they’re gonna give me a lobotomy?
what does it take to inject my veins
crawling up my body, redirect my brain
Track Name: marlboro man
pains hang like a shadow
light pours in the window

hold your vocal chords and tongue
I’ll be singing what you sung

pains hang like a noose does
chase it like a goose does

hold your vocal chords and tongue
I’ll be singing what you sung

riding into the sun, dispose of everyone
breathe in the toxic air, nobody really cares
I’ll be breaking rules, mistakes and ridicule
Nothing will matter now, it all works out somehow.
Track Name: ADHD
brains spilling on the floor bleeding
the blind aren’t seeing, but they’re leading
somebody get that man a doctor
saying some words that have no meaning
dog in a pound that begs for pleasing
I only want you to be happy

hey, what did you say?

life is a mess that I’m not cleaning
I’m giving you less than I’m receiving
somebody get that man a medic
I love you, I don’t, my heart is fleeting
I only believe the things I’m reading
I only want you to be happy
Track Name: something that doesn't exist anymore
maybe tonight, you’ll be in my dreams
pale but alive
and I know there’s a secret locked up inside
there’s got to be.

Holy ghost, I see
Things won’t ever be
The way I want them to be.

I’m not sad, I’m just trying to cry
I will pour you out with my tears.
graveyards filled up with bodies, lives
all forgotten over the years.

You are dead to me now.
That’s okay, somewhere, somehow.
Track Name: walpurgisnacht
Hold me to the ground
Tie your ropes around the trunks of all the trees
Make a mass of broken branches and their leaves
Burn the whole thing down

Then prove who missed me
Find the lips that kissed me
Trick the thing that tricks me

Demons be scorned now
Reasons be formed now
I’ll be reborn now